Hanukkah Braces Humor

 Ortho, Ortho, Ortho
(to the tune of Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel)
by Lynn S.

I had a maloclussion
I hated every day
The ortho said he'd fix it
And to him I did say,

Oh ortho, ortho, ortho
How much more do I pay?
When will my teeth be straightened?
What can I eat? Oy vey!

And so I wore my braces
Brushed after every meal
I also wore elastics
Yes, I was no schlameel.

Oh ortho, ortho, ortho
When is my next appointment?
And for this awful canker sore
Do you have any ointment?

I couldn't chew the brisket
Or bite the chocolate gelt
At least there were the latkes
In my mouth they did melt!

Oh ortho, ortho, ortho
I need some dental wax
And please give me a lot sir,
For these painful train tracks

So now it's two years later
My braces have come out
As I light my menorah, I think:
A miracle happened in my mouth!

Oh ortho, ortho, ortho
How much more do I pay?
When will my teeth be straightened?
What can I eat? Oy vey!